Posted by Sedruce at 5:28am Jan 18 '07my bf and I just had a huge blowout (not relationship-ending, but sure as hell shitty), wouldn't mind having that random guy to take my mind off Sam and flatter me and make me feel worthwhile again...Sam knows just hot to make me feel like absolute shit when we're fighting, and he's really mean. Don't think he even realizes it, he's just...cruel. He knows what kind of words are like knives and which kinds are just little pebbles to toss and bounce off...and he goes for the first kind. I can't stand how mean he is...he's apologetic for it afterwards if I raise the topic and tell him he hurt my feelings...
I never, NEVER run away. When we have fights, I stick it out 'til the end. Maybe not always the best idea, but if I'm gonna run and cower or stick it out to the end every single time, I'd rather stick it out. Tonight, I hung up on him, twice, because I'm sick of how hurtful he is. I'm sick of letting him make me feel like shit. Sick of letting him tell me that I "don't care" about him (he says that because I 'justify' aka explain, that therefore I must not care because rather than just fixing what I do that hurts his feelings, I 'justify' and therefore set myself up to do it in the future...somehow this means I don't care about him...if he keeps telling me that, I just may start to believe him!).
Rrrrgh. Sorry, I just needed to have a good healthy vent about it, didn't matter where or to whom or if anyone reads it or responds or gives advice or anything...just needed to write it out, y'know? Anyway...I wish Holly was around...she's one of my best friends, and my absolute favorite person to cheer me up...she's a lot like Peski and [private]'s love child, actually. Just random fun. She cheers me up by distracting me until I forget why I was scowling hard enough to get facial cramps. Sadly, I don't even know if she has an IM client...she's very occasionally on MSN, but I think she has another primary one she likes...even if it's stupid ICQ, I'd download it and get an account just to talk to her.
Well...I'm gonna stop going so off topic. Bye.
I never, NEVER run away. When we have fights, I stick it out 'til the end. Maybe not always the best idea, but if I'm gonna run and cower or stick it out to the end every single time, I'd rather stick it out. Tonight, I hung up on him, twice, because I'm sick of how hurtful he is. I'm sick of letting him make me feel like shit. Sick of letting him tell me that I "don't care" about him (he says that because I 'justify' aka explain, that therefore I must not care because rather than just fixing what I do that hurts his feelings, I 'justify' and therefore set myself up to do it in the future...somehow this means I don't care about him...if he keeps telling me that, I just may start to believe him!).
Rrrrgh. Sorry, I just needed to have a good healthy vent about it, didn't matter where or to whom or if anyone reads it or responds or gives advice or anything...just needed to write it out, y'know? Anyway...I wish Holly was around...she's one of my best friends, and my absolute favorite person to cheer me up...she's a lot like Peski and [private]'s love child, actually. Just random fun. She cheers me up by distracting me until I forget why I was scowling hard enough to get facial cramps. Sadly, I don't even know if she has an IM client...she's very occasionally on MSN, but I think she has another primary one she likes...even if it's stupid ICQ, I'd download it and get an account just to talk to her.
Well...I'm gonna stop going so off topic. Bye.
Man, I wish I could call him right now - Sedruce