Posted by Otter at 7:21pm Jul 5 '09Hey [private] - I'm sorry it took me a couple days to get to this... busy July 4th weekend, y'know?
I think there's a lot great and honest advice below already. From my perspective to answer your specific question as well as I could...
God definitely wants to know the real you.... I don't think he'd be happy with "just a little [private] on the side"... it's almost like you'd be cheating on Eddie with God. It wouldn't be fair to either of them to give a "pretend" face half the time and I think it would tear you up inside.
I will definitely say this - God will still love you no matter what you choose to do here.. but he ultimately wants you as part of his community. He wants Eddie too, and loves him too.
You were right below when you said that there is NO WAY that YOU can change Eddie to love God. Only God himself can do that through Eddie. He may use YOU in part to accomplish that task, but you alone certainly cannot and should not expect to be able to. It wouldn't be right to hold yourself to a standard like that.
I would personally encourage you to be honest with Eddie about your feelings even though it may be a difficult conversation. Honesty is always best in relationships - I think - even if it makes for a bad ending. I believe in my heart that Eddie is a good man and that he loves you and your kids. I hope that he would "allow" you to pursue these interests out of his love for you even though he doesn't like it. He may even make you "pay" for it a little, if you know what I mean... but I would encourage you to go along with this out of your love for him and your desire for his vision to improve as well.
There's another very important point I want you to get. Don't let anyone in any church tell you that you should leave your husband or estrange him in any way for the church. That would be a pretty un-christian thing for them to say. Some will actually try to tell you to do this... they may even have a convincing argument about it. If they do, run away quickly. Unfortunately we live in a world today where there are more "fake" Christians than "good" or "real" ones... at least in my opinion.
I hope this helps. I'll give a prayer for peace with you and Eddie over this as soon as I finish writing this. Be brave, be true, be honest... above all... LOVE.
Love you [private],
-Chris
I think there's a lot great and honest advice below already. From my perspective to answer your specific question as well as I could...
God definitely wants to know the real you.... I don't think he'd be happy with "just a little [private] on the side"... it's almost like you'd be cheating on Eddie with God. It wouldn't be fair to either of them to give a "pretend" face half the time and I think it would tear you up inside.
I will definitely say this - God will still love you no matter what you choose to do here.. but he ultimately wants you as part of his community. He wants Eddie too, and loves him too.
You were right below when you said that there is NO WAY that YOU can change Eddie to love God. Only God himself can do that through Eddie. He may use YOU in part to accomplish that task, but you alone certainly cannot and should not expect to be able to. It wouldn't be right to hold yourself to a standard like that.
I would personally encourage you to be honest with Eddie about your feelings even though it may be a difficult conversation. Honesty is always best in relationships - I think - even if it makes for a bad ending. I believe in my heart that Eddie is a good man and that he loves you and your kids. I hope that he would "allow" you to pursue these interests out of his love for you even though he doesn't like it. He may even make you "pay" for it a little, if you know what I mean... but I would encourage you to go along with this out of your love for him and your desire for his vision to improve as well.
There's another very important point I want you to get. Don't let anyone in any church tell you that you should leave your husband or estrange him in any way for the church. That would be a pretty un-christian thing for them to say. Some will actually try to tell you to do this... they may even have a convincing argument about it. If they do, run away quickly. Unfortunately we live in a world today where there are more "fake" Christians than "good" or "real" ones... at least in my opinion.
I hope this helps. I'll give a prayer for peace with you and Eddie over this as soon as I finish writing this. Be brave, be true, be honest... above all... LOVE.
Love you [private],
-Chris
rock and a hard place - Otter