Posted by Astrid at 8:51pm Jul 4 '09This post has a confusing note to it
One thing is that I do not agree with your cleric definition of a model christian. I do not agree people need churches or any public places in order to praise what they feel in them, or around them, or above them. I know there are many on the site that could quote Bible and passages much better then I could ever dream of, but I do remember a certain quote that asks "not to be worshiped on the crossroads" ( paraphrase). Now crossroads can be a metaphor for all the kids praying "Please God, make mommy buy me a new bike", but I also see it in a socio cultural aspect as the most prominent places of the time.
In other words, I don't think it's important where are you being Christian, as long as you are/feel Christian. ( Not to be confused I would still say this for any other religion as well).
Now we come to the point. The point is in how you feel. How you feel is what makes you - you. religion is a very big part of it, not for the fact of - believing in this or that, per se-, but for the fact of sharing a certain amount of energy/ love with a certain idea, and getting a certain amount of energy/love back. People consist of enegry/love. it makes them what they are. It can be from the sole concept, in which case you can pray in your bathtub. It can come from sharing experience with other people, or rituals even.
I'm blabling now ( tipsy)
A relationship should not demand you to change your true nature, and you should not compete for Love. I'm sure [private] would now say it is impossible to compete for Love between a man and the God, but I'm not gonna steal his line. At all.
Now if Eddie would want you to stop loving one of your children, in order to have more love capacity for him, what would you do? Is it even possible? Isn't religion, love toward God, the same way? Is it possible for you to suppress?
If yes, then are you really religious or it's just your current weakness and fear making you seek sanctuary in something other then "this" around?
If no- then what are you doing? Are you not pretending to be someone else in a relationship in which you should not pretend to be someone else? Are you not fooling Eddie? Is that fair? Is that hurting you? Is that damaging him, even if he is unaware?
You know, I am agnostic, and of a skeptic kind even, but if I feel a need to enter a certain place, no matter if church or a museum, I will enter it.
I don't really care if you are Christian, Santeria priest or member of Astro Margentum as long as you are REAL. to yourself firstly, and then to me. That is how you would show me love, by not wearing any masks. Or at least by taking one by one of, as I gain your trust.
Did Eddie gain your trust?
But my mumbling don't answer your question at all. The way i see it- it is okay in almost every part of religion to be faithful only privately , and that private-in-your-heart feeling is what it really matters. But is it fair? No. And I am not considering God's feeling here at all, I'm asking is it fair toward you and is it fair toward Eddie?
And to be clear here, I'm not advocating total openednes in a relationship either, every person needs private/ secret part of soul/mind/heart.
But this seems a big issue, and it seems torturing you. As such, it should be solved, don't you agree? But that answer is yours, and I bet it's the one you already know of. And we are here to support you, anyway you choose to go.
One thing is that I do not agree with your cleric definition of a model christian. I do not agree people need churches or any public places in order to praise what they feel in them, or around them, or above them. I know there are many on the site that could quote Bible and passages much better then I could ever dream of, but I do remember a certain quote that asks "not to be worshiped on the crossroads" ( paraphrase). Now crossroads can be a metaphor for all the kids praying "Please God, make mommy buy me a new bike", but I also see it in a socio cultural aspect as the most prominent places of the time.
In other words, I don't think it's important where are you being Christian, as long as you are/feel Christian. ( Not to be confused I would still say this for any other religion as well).
Now we come to the point. The point is in how you feel. How you feel is what makes you - you. religion is a very big part of it, not for the fact of - believing in this or that, per se-, but for the fact of sharing a certain amount of energy/ love with a certain idea, and getting a certain amount of energy/love back. People consist of enegry/love. it makes them what they are. It can be from the sole concept, in which case you can pray in your bathtub. It can come from sharing experience with other people, or rituals even.
I'm blabling now ( tipsy)
A relationship should not demand you to change your true nature, and you should not compete for Love. I'm sure [private] would now say it is impossible to compete for Love between a man and the God, but I'm not gonna steal his line. At all.
Now if Eddie would want you to stop loving one of your children, in order to have more love capacity for him, what would you do? Is it even possible? Isn't religion, love toward God, the same way? Is it possible for you to suppress?
If yes, then are you really religious or it's just your current weakness and fear making you seek sanctuary in something other then "this" around?
If no- then what are you doing? Are you not pretending to be someone else in a relationship in which you should not pretend to be someone else? Are you not fooling Eddie? Is that fair? Is that hurting you? Is that damaging him, even if he is unaware?
You know, I am agnostic, and of a skeptic kind even, but if I feel a need to enter a certain place, no matter if church or a museum, I will enter it.
I don't really care if you are Christian, Santeria priest or member of Astro Margentum as long as you are REAL. to yourself firstly, and then to me. That is how you would show me love, by not wearing any masks. Or at least by taking one by one of, as I gain your trust.
Did Eddie gain your trust?
But my mumbling don't answer your question at all. The way i see it- it is okay in almost every part of religion to be faithful only privately , and that private-in-your-heart feeling is what it really matters. But is it fair? No. And I am not considering God's feeling here at all, I'm asking is it fair toward you and is it fair toward Eddie?
And to be clear here, I'm not advocating total openednes in a relationship either, every person needs private/ secret part of soul/mind/heart.
But this seems a big issue, and it seems torturing you. As such, it should be solved, don't you agree? But that answer is yours, and I bet it's the one you already know of. And we are here to support you, anyway you choose to go.
You know angel - Astrid