Schoolhouse Rock -- Elementary, My Dear

Posted by Psilocybin at 8:58pm May 28 '14
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I found this video online, and I'm embedding it here:

Some things I noticed:

S. S. Ark is written on the ark.

The lions in their 16/32 racecars are gay. Both of them have manes. In order to reproduce, they need one lion and one lioness.

The ants are lesbian -- apparently they are both workers. If Noah wanted the ants to be able to reproduce after the flood was over, he'd need one queen (or future queen) and one male breeder.

Noaj's kids appear to be children, and one little boy and one little girl at that. In the real story of Noah's ark, Noah took his wife, three sons who are already adults (Ham, Shem and Japheth), and his three sons' wives.

There is implied incest in what was a video designed to teach children. You'll notice it as the 15/30 kangaroo comes up -- its joey pops out of the pouch as the second kangaroo. This kangaroo is going to replenish the Macropus genus by mating with her own son? Those'd be some pretty screwed-up (both literally and figuratively) kangaroos.

They start out alphabetically -- aardvarks, alligators, bears, camels (almost like Geoffrey Giraffe's animal alphabet) but they end with two octopus and two ants. No zebras (nor zebus).

Speaking of no zebras, there are no horses -- or other domestic animals, except the four cats. Could it be that the Bible said Noah took seven of each of the "clean" animals, and those heptads would ruin the "two-ness" of the animals coming out?

The only birds (not counting the dove with the olive branch) are two ostriches -- flightless birds. No bats either. Would this be because the flying birds could just come out on top and wouldn't use the ramp?

Octopus and seals, but no other marine animals.

And, most puzzlingly, where are the times tables from 21*2=42 to 31*2=62? Although they repeat 2*2=4 thru 2*5=10, the video stops off with 20/40-bearing clothespinned skunks, and when it's resumed, they're showing 32/64-bearing skateboarding turtles! (Are the turtles on skateboards so they won't be so slow?)

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