Let's write "actually" poems

Posted by Psilocybin at 4:39pm Jun 4 '24
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Last night, I had a dream that I was back at school, and we had a class assignment to write what the teacher called our "actually" poem. This is the "actually" poem I started to write in my dream:

I am a singer-songwriter
But I actually have fewer than a thousand subscribers on YouTube and could never put a steady band together

I am an artist
But I actually have trouble with visual thinking

I am highly intelligent
But I actually really suck when it comes to understanding spatial relationships

I have OCD
But I actually do a number of taboo things and have messy hair and an unkempt desk and dresser

I put my hand over my left eye
But I'm not actually bothered by bright lights; I just don't want to see spiders, pajamdras, Spider-man or Winnxe the Pooh when I'm walking down the aisle

I love sleep and dreams
But I actually can't stand pajamdras

I love Frappuccino
But I actually can't stand the thought of drinking a milkshxke

I have dozens of thousands of entries in my English-Kankonian dictionary
But actually "whxxps" isn't one of them, because there are a number of English words tiat will set me off and get me purging

Socializing feels like sugar to me
But I actually might have a break a conversation off if my interlocutor says a word like "whxxps" or "ice xxxxx" and I have to go off and purge

I have dozens of friends, whom I love to death
But I actually have a hard time reaching so many of them, because there are days when I dial a dozen friends and all I get are a dozen answering machines

I love the animal kingdom and get angry when a cop shoots someone's dog
But I actually can't stand spiders, and will kill one when I see one

I love the plant kingdom
But I actually can't touch a plant, lest it have cobwebs growing on it

I am Jewish
But I don't actually practice the religion (I never had a bar mitzvah) and consider my culture to be modern Western counterculture

I am bisexual
But I've actually never dated anyone, boy or girl

I believe in civil rights for youth
But I actually get uncomfortable around children younger than about 6 or 7 or even the sound of a high-pitched voice

Does anyone else want to try an "actually" poem about themselves?