Posted by Kromey at 3:44pm Oct 14 '11So, some of you may recall my story from last year, about grays and abnormals and cryptids. Well, as I wrote last year, the story evolved considerably from what I had originally intended to write; the abnormals and cryptids have been dropped (although still may return, just won't be near as central to the plot as I was planning last year), and instead of "necrobotism" being the result of a programming glitch, it's in fact a weapon, and is the subject of a high-reaching conspiracy that will be slowly uncovered throughout the story.
This year I'm doing a re-write of the story, from scratch, using last year's half-finished draft as a very rough outline/guide, but taking a whole new approach to telling the story.
And here's where you come in, ye olde plot masters of 4K! The new opening scene is going to be a prologue, set roughly a year prior to the start of the first chapter; the prologue is going to show the very first emergence of the grays. The main character, Carol, is a cop, giving a talk at a local school (or a lecture somewhere, or whatever) when she hears an announcement over her radio from the dispatcher AI reporting "shots fired, officer needs assistance"; it's an automated response sent out any time a cop's weapon is fired. Carol's off-duty, but pauses a moment -- she might be needed -- and then hears her partner's panicked voice over the radio: "Quarantine order 64-B, on my location!"
Now Carol's sprinting into action, rushing toward the (serendipitously nearby) scene. She arrives to find the section sealed off per the quarantine order, and looking through a window sees her partner, back against the door, weapon drawn, as 3 strangely gray-looking people shamble towards him... [cue heart-wrenching death scene of her partner, who then gets back up as a gray himself, forever scarring Carol's psyche]
Now, what I need is to understand what happened in that off-screen scene with Carol's partner. What was he doing there? What provoked him to fire his weapon? What made him think he needed to declare a quarantine on himself? Why was there a 4th (or more) guy there? (I already know where the first 2 grays came from, but that's a secret to be revealed later...) Was he on duty and, if so, why was he on the beat when his partner Carol was off-duty? (This might be normal, I don't know.)
What happened between the first 2 grays lumbering out of their room, and Carol arriving to watch 3 (or more) grays murder and then turn her partner?
Help me, Obi-Wan 4K! You're my only hope!
This year I'm doing a re-write of the story, from scratch, using last year's half-finished draft as a very rough outline/guide, but taking a whole new approach to telling the story.
And here's where you come in, ye olde plot masters of 4K! The new opening scene is going to be a prologue, set roughly a year prior to the start of the first chapter; the prologue is going to show the very first emergence of the grays. The main character, Carol, is a cop, giving a talk at a local school (or a lecture somewhere, or whatever) when she hears an announcement over her radio from the dispatcher AI reporting "shots fired, officer needs assistance"; it's an automated response sent out any time a cop's weapon is fired. Carol's off-duty, but pauses a moment -- she might be needed -- and then hears her partner's panicked voice over the radio: "Quarantine order 64-B, on my location!"
Now Carol's sprinting into action, rushing toward the (serendipitously nearby) scene. She arrives to find the section sealed off per the quarantine order, and looking through a window sees her partner, back against the door, weapon drawn, as 3 strangely gray-looking people shamble towards him... [cue heart-wrenching death scene of her partner, who then gets back up as a gray himself, forever scarring Carol's psyche]
Now, what I need is to understand what happened in that off-screen scene with Carol's partner. What was he doing there? What provoked him to fire his weapon? What made him think he needed to declare a quarantine on himself? Why was there a 4th (or more) guy there? (I already know where the first 2 grays came from, but that's a secret to be revealed later...) Was he on duty and, if so, why was he on the beat when his partner Carol was off-duty? (This might be normal, I don't know.)
What happened between the first 2 grays lumbering out of their room, and Carol arriving to watch 3 (or more) grays murder and then turn her partner?
Help me, Obi-Wan 4K! You're my only hope!