Posted by shyla at 9:04pm Aug 1 '04Rules that guys wished girls knew..........
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. (girls always think they're fat, it has to do with those super skinny biatches on magazines, although why someone would want that, don't ask me)
2. Learn to work the toilet seat:if it's up put it down. (yeah!! it's not that hard. on the same token, don't piss all over the fucking floor, it stinks and it's gross cleaning it up, if i wanted a golden shower, believe me, i'd ask first)
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. (easy for a guy to say, you don't have to carry this heavy shit all through the summer)
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again! (again?)
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. (same applies for you....so never ask the question, does size really matter)
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. (i'm somehow surviving with that knowledge but are you?)
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. (thanks for that knowledge, i will definitely use it)
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. (my puddy cat? i thought you liked her ;o) )
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. (who needs a pet anyway?)
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. (Just so long as you know, sunday for me equals girls night out)
11. Shopping is not sport. (sales? running? same thing)
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really. (that's such a lie...i'm drab if i'm totally covered up and a slut if i've got cleavage)
13. You have enough clothes. (there is never such a thing)
14. You have too many shoes. (do boots count as shoes?)
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. (no, crying is showing an emotion that i wouldn't particularly care to see from you)
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too. (how insecure are you...really?)
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. (it's always worked for me)
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. (neither do i, so i guess we'll never celebrate anything....except maybe a pregnancy lmao)
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. (if my three year old nephew can do it properly, it really can't be that difficult)
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? (this would be the time to say 'i do not know dear)
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. (it depends on the questions)
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. (or maybe it's time to break up, no?)
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend. (not yours, but always mine...just like you don't HAVE to be my boyfriend..how you treat your mother clues me in on how you'll always treat me)
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (i concur)
25. Check your oil. (and dirty my manicure? pleaseeee!)
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. (for some guys, it's neccessary)
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. (really? i have problems hurting people's feelings...are you sure?)
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. (i love quiz's!!)
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. (wrong buddy! if i remember it, it's always admissable)
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. (so if we do, you will?)
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. (typical guy answer...and do you know what you're apologizing for?)
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? (what a lame excuse,,,but ogle away...don't mind when i do the same)
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. (haha, i'm not that cruel, i finish what i start)
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done- not both. (whyever not?)
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (i'm the same way)
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. (after getting from point A to B then A again?? yeah...ya do need directions)
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. (hey i don't mind a gentle appreciation...but my breasts don't talk back...so kindly don't talk to them)
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need
it, just like you do. (but why golf? the most boring sport of all?)
39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines. (but they are and you should realize that...really really realize it)
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. (i know, it's probably why we're not still together lmao)
41. Anyone can buy condoms. (what about a vasectomy?)
1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. (girls always think they're fat, it has to do with those super skinny biatches on magazines, although why someone would want that, don't ask me)
2. Learn to work the toilet seat:if it's up put it down. (yeah!! it's not that hard. on the same token, don't piss all over the fucking floor, it stinks and it's gross cleaning it up, if i wanted a golden shower, believe me, i'd ask first)
3. Don't cut your hair. Ever. (easy for a guy to say, you don't have to carry this heavy shit all through the summer)
4. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if he can find the perfect present, again! (again?)
5. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. (same applies for you....so never ask the question, does size really matter)
6. Sometimes, he's not thinking about you. Live with it. (i'm somehow surviving with that knowledge but are you?)
7. Don't ask him what he's thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation and monster trucks. (thanks for that knowledge, i will definitely use it)
8. Get rid of your cat. And no, it's not different, it's just like every other cat. (my puddy cat? i thought you liked her ;o) )
9. Dogs are better than ANY cats. Period. (who needs a pet anyway?)
10. Sunday = Sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. (Just so long as you know, sunday for me equals girls night out)
11. Shopping is not sport. (sales? running? same thing)
12. Anything you wear is fine. Really. (that's such a lie...i'm drab if i'm totally covered up and a slut if i've got cleavage)
13. You have enough clothes. (there is never such a thing)
14. You have too many shoes. (do boots count as shoes?)
15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must, but don't expect us to like it. (no, crying is showing an emotion that i wouldn't particularly care to see from you)
16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot and your Dad probably is too. (how insecure are you...really?)
17. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints don't work. (it's always worked for me)
18. No, he doesn't know what day it is. He never will. Mark anniversaries on a calendar. (neither do i, so i guess we'll never celebrate anything....except maybe a pregnancy lmao)
19. Yes, pissing standing up is more difficult than peeing from point blank range. We're bound to miss sometimes. (if my three year old nephew can do it properly, it really can't be that difficult)
20. Most guys own two to three pairs of shoes-what makes you think we'd be any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress? (this would be the time to say 'i do not know dear)
21. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers. (it depends on the questions)
22. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor. (or maybe it's time to break up, no?)
23. Your Mom doesn't have to be our best friend. (not yours, but always mine...just like you don't HAVE to be my boyfriend..how you treat your mother clues me in on how you'll always treat me)
24. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (i concur)
25. Check your oil. (and dirty my manicure? pleaseeee!)
26. Don't give us 50 rules when 25 will do. (for some guys, it's neccessary)
27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived. (really? i have problems hurting people's feelings...are you sure?)
28. It is neither in your best interest nor ours to take the quiz together. (i love quiz's!!)
29. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. All comments become null and void after 7 days. (wrong buddy! if i remember it, it's always admissable)
30. If you don't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys. (so if we do, you will?)
31. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad and angry, we meant the other one. (typical guy answer...and do you know what you're apologizing for?)
32. Let us ogle. If we don't look at other women how can we know how pretty you are? (what a lame excuse,,,but ogle away...don't mind when i do the same)
33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out. (haha, i'm not that cruel, i finish what i start)
34. You can either ask us to do something OR tell us how you want it done- not both. (whyever not?)
35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. (i'm the same way)
36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions, and neither do we. (after getting from point A to B then A again?? yeah...ya do need directions)
37. Women wearing Wonderbras and low-cut blouses lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at. (hey i don't mind a gentle appreciation...but my breasts don't talk back...so kindly don't talk to them)
38. Consider Golf a mini-vacation from you. We need
it, just like you do. (but why golf? the most boring sport of all?)
39. Telling us that the models in the men's magazines are airbrushed makes you look jealous and petty and it's certainly not going to deter us from reading the magazines. (but they are and you should realize that...really really realize it)
40. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. (i know, it's probably why we're not still together lmao)
41. Anyone can buy condoms. (what about a vasectomy?)