Posted by Kazper at 1:52pm Aug 1 '08There's what's written and spoken and what one reads and hears and then there's what one understands.
One who inspires another may only do so initially. Others may take over afterwards or fictitious others or no one.
If being able to think well (at least a little) while alone but not while in the presence of ANYONE (lol.) can't keep you humble (utterly afraid) I don't know what will.
I swear. I have social [aphasia]. I can't recall a goddamned thing!
I think I'd rather be thought just dumb then dumb and a thief which I think is a logical conclusion most would come to if they saw the contrast between social me and alone me. Geez. I can't stand myself. Can't think around people. Can't feel at ease to even try and think because I feel like it's an opportunity for pouncing. Though there's also the fact that I don't know alot. Ruminations are just thoughts. I'm not certain of many things and it's even harder for me to try and articulate uncertain things in real time. ::sigh:: Somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery. (I don't use "dumb" pejoratively.)
I'm so rattled when in the presence of others. So fearful of sheisty or genuine accusation (much more the former as the later, being genuine, should be interested in the truth).
No one sees me. No one understands me. They're all out to get me! <_< >_> (These are paranoid eyes... at least, there supposed to be. I swear I've seen others do 'em, and do 'em better. Hmmm...)
Don't expect anything from me! Let me be! Treat me with respect and allow me to come out. (No. I'm not a homosexual.)
Logical conclusion- but it's not the truth! You haven't exposed me. To the best of my ability I've said how I am in different situations.
Everything's always just a big fucking competition. There's no ease!
I do not want to be like those who insult themselves so that they can insult others or just think that they can insult others because they insult themselves. I want to honestly evaluate myself, not mock myself. I want to improve myself because I want to, because I think it best, not because of fear of judgements of others.
Boy, is it ever intimidating walking into and being in an intelligence building. I recently applied for a dishwasher job at CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service) that's just down the street from me. I don't like it in there! I feel outta place (no intelligence jokes now. :)) I'm 27, I dress like a kid (I get carded still sometimes so I guess I kinda look like a kid too), got kicked outta highschool (twice) and never got a diploma and I ride a freakin' bike- because I can't really drive! I know it's jus' a dishwasher job- but I don't belong there! I don't wanna be there!
Don't expect from me. You're bound to be disappointed and I'm bound for a headache as you undoubtedly let me know of your disappointment.
I'd love to rob criminals as a profession. I'd be doing what I think good and I'd be making a living. I sometimes dream of it. I'd have a best friend who'd be my partner and we'd be very nice and respectful (but fierce little savages). We'd also give property back to the actual owners if we knew who they were.
~Shawn Savoie~
~Ottawa, Ontario, Canada~
One who inspires another may only do so initially. Others may take over afterwards or fictitious others or no one.
If being able to think well (at least a little) while alone but not while in the presence of ANYONE (lol.) can't keep you humble (utterly afraid) I don't know what will.
I swear. I have social [aphasia]. I can't recall a goddamned thing!
I think I'd rather be thought just dumb then dumb and a thief which I think is a logical conclusion most would come to if they saw the contrast between social me and alone me. Geez. I can't stand myself. Can't think around people. Can't feel at ease to even try and think because I feel like it's an opportunity for pouncing. Though there's also the fact that I don't know alot. Ruminations are just thoughts. I'm not certain of many things and it's even harder for me to try and articulate uncertain things in real time. ::sigh:: Somebody shoot me and put me out of my misery. (I don't use "dumb" pejoratively.)
I'm so rattled when in the presence of others. So fearful of sheisty or genuine accusation (much more the former as the later, being genuine, should be interested in the truth).
No one sees me. No one understands me. They're all out to get me! <_< >_> (These are paranoid eyes... at least, there supposed to be. I swear I've seen others do 'em, and do 'em better. Hmmm...)
Don't expect anything from me! Let me be! Treat me with respect and allow me to come out. (No. I'm not a homosexual.)
Logical conclusion- but it's not the truth! You haven't exposed me. To the best of my ability I've said how I am in different situations.
Everything's always just a big fucking competition. There's no ease!
I do not want to be like those who insult themselves so that they can insult others or just think that they can insult others because they insult themselves. I want to honestly evaluate myself, not mock myself. I want to improve myself because I want to, because I think it best, not because of fear of judgements of others.
Boy, is it ever intimidating walking into and being in an intelligence building. I recently applied for a dishwasher job at CSIS (Canadian Security Intelligence Service) that's just down the street from me. I don't like it in there! I feel outta place (no intelligence jokes now. :)) I'm 27, I dress like a kid (I get carded still sometimes so I guess I kinda look like a kid too), got kicked outta highschool (twice) and never got a diploma and I ride a freakin' bike- because I can't really drive! I know it's jus' a dishwasher job- but I don't belong there! I don't wanna be there!
Don't expect from me. You're bound to be disappointed and I'm bound for a headache as you undoubtedly let me know of your disappointment.
I'd love to rob criminals as a profession. I'd be doing what I think good and I'd be making a living. I sometimes dream of it. I'd have a best friend who'd be my partner and we'd be very nice and respectful (but fierce little savages). We'd also give property back to the actual owners if we knew who they were.
~Shawn Savoie~
~Ottawa, Ontario, Canada~